Book Review | My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Kate Elizabeth Russell's debut novel My Dark Vanessa lives up to its title; dark and unsettling but a compelling read about sexual abuse.
We first meet Vanessa Wye when she is 32. It's 2017, and the MeToo movement is taking prominence in headlines across the globe. For Vanessa, she discovers her teenage history back in Boarding school is about to resurface as a classmate has come forward with sexual abuse accusations against her former English teacher, Jacob Strane.
The story transports us back in time to the year 2000. 42-year-old Strane first lays eyes on her when she walks into his English class - she is only 15 years old. Sound predatory? That's because it is. Strane is not particularly handsome, certainly nothing to sing home about, but somehow he manages to manipulate her whole world into centering around him. The novel alternates between Vanessa's youth and the present day. When she is young, we see the relationship unfold between the two, seeing how Strane grooms Vanessa for his twisted sexual desires. Fast forward to the present day; it is so evident just how significant an impact the abuse has had on Vanessa's life, but more importantly so as she is unable to see it for what it really was.
As the story is narrated from Vanessa's point of view, the abuse evolving is clear to see for the reader. Strane makes subtle advances early on to test the waters; a slight brush of the knee, seemingly innocent but the outright dialogue jumps from "I want to put you to bed and kiss you goodnight" to "I am going to ruin you"– his intentions are made known.
It's implied that Vanessa had an inkling that this behavior was predatory and abusive; however, Strane cleverly manipulated her into believing she had control every step of the way. She wants this; she calls the shots; Vanessa follows this train of thought and convinces herself; this is nothing short of a whirlwind first love.
"I just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that."
It sadly unfolds as Vanessa grows up, goes to college and becomes an adult. We see her hopes and dreams of making a great life for herself diminish into nothing, and that this bastard still has a hold over her, so much so that she still defends him 17 years on.
'it wasn't rape, rape'.
I guess this is a good account of how this kind of trauma can flip a person's life on its axis and shape their future. As frustrating as it can be for the reader, how can we truly understand the depths of this kind of manipulation.
I found this book to be hard to read in the sense that it was painful and upsetting, but that's not to say I don't recommend it! It was beautifully written, a very profound portrayal of sexual abuse between pupils and teachers. I rated this one 5/5 stars.